When we arrived at Larry’s hanger, he told us he didn’t have the key, so we’d have to go home. Instead, Tim took a crowbar from his car and silently broke the lock while Larry wailed. Inside, we learned the last of Larry’s secrets. His hidden treasure was a landfill of magazines, cardboard boxes, empty…
A very bad man, part five
December 1, 2023
After we were back within our own walls, I waited an hour and then called Larry’s home number. He answered with his mouth full and told me that he was perfectly okay. I could hear his television blasting in the background “I’m really sorry, but I can’t come back,” I said. “Yeah, sure, I understand….
Snowden test disproves all conspiracy theories
November 29, 2023
You can think Edward Snowden is a hero or a traitor. Either categorization is accurate, depending on your criteria. The most important thing about him is that he unwittingly created the Snowden Test, which proves that most if not all conspiracy theories are bogus. Choose any one of the many out there. 1. The government…
Thanks for the clarity
November 28, 2023
On this Thanksgiving Day, I say, “Thanks for the clarity, whomever or whatever you are, if you’re up-out-in there.” I think the way the system is set up is that the more clearly you can think and see, the more becomes comprehensible and visible. If I have my car radio turned all the way up,…
Outer and inner space
November 28, 2023
A reader sent me the link to “The Single Most Mind-Altering Photograph Humanity Has Ever Taken.” It’s a short video presentation about a photo of Earth that Voyager 1 took. The image is dubbed “Pale Blue Dot” and was the inspiration for Carl Sagan’s 1994 book Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future…
“I can’t do this to me!”
November 27, 2023
One of the funniest cartoons I ever saw showed Senator Joseph McCarthy as a spider all wound up in his own web—trapped, struggling, shouting, “I can’t do this to me!” I wish I could remember the cartoonist’s name. That’s one of my favorite lines. I’ve used it for years whenever someone self-implodes. Alec Baldwin’s TV…
I’m not the right guy to ask
November 26, 2023
Someone sent me a link to Scott Adams’s post “I Hope My Father Dies Soon” and asked me my opinion on it. In his piece Adams says the following: My father, age 86, is on the final approach to the long dirt nap (to use his own phrase). His mind is 98% gone, and all…
I feared all the wrong things
November 25, 2023
All my worst fears came true. Since childhood I feared pain, isolation, humiliation, incurable illness, predation, failure, suffering, loneliness, not fitting in… And earwigs. More about the earwigs in a minute. In retrospect I feared all the wrong things, since everything I feared eventually came to pass. Tim and I have had this discussion many…
Gene Simmons worried I’d do this to him
November 25, 2023
I interviewed Gene Simmons on January 28, 1996. You can read all about the confusing, stressful lead-up to the interview in my book In Cold Sweat: Interviews with Really Scary Musicians. There’s a reason the book has been in print for twelve years: It’s good. And the reason it’s good is because the interview subjects…