Thomas Wictor

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I will not submit

The death of my father changed me in fundamental ways. Probably the most significant consequence of Dad’s passing was that it made me aware of how much of my life I’d given over to him. He got what he wanted, regardless of the cost to others. Now that he’s no longer here, you need to…

 

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Never heard of this instrument

I began playing the bass at eighteen. When I was thirty, I became a music journalist, a job I held for ten years. My brother Pat Wictor is a professional folk singer. From 2002 until 2012 I didn’t listen to music because it was too painful, representing the loss of all that I loved. Still,…

 

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Another valuable concept destroyed

Jill Filipovic recently wrote a piece titled, “We’ve Gone Too Far with ‘Trigger Warnings.’” It’s about how university students are demanding that virtually everything unpleasant have a “trigger warning,” meaning a disclaimer that will alert sufferers of post-traumatic stress disorder that they may read or see something that could trigger a flashback. The result? Another…

 

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Online outrage porn

I just read a piece titled “Why We’re Addicted to Online Outrage,” by Michael Brendan Dougherty. In his essay Dougherty links to “Outrage Porn: How the Need for ‘Perpetual Indignation’ Manufactures Phony Offense,” by Ryan Holiday. According to Holiday all the online outrage is fake, just a way for Websites to get publicity. He doesn’t…

 

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You won’t like living in the Third World

I was born in Venezuela and lived there until I was ten. Venezuela was and is a Third World nation. A significant percentage of our fellow citizens want us to be a Third World nation. You won’t like it. This photo was taken in Caripito on March 25, 1966. I’m in the hard hat, Tim…

 

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Not all sexism is equal

I had a friend I called “Lola” in Ghosts and Ballyhoo. She was a brilliant musician, an incredible athlete, had a great sense of humor, and could draw anything. Now that Mom and Dad are gone, I can admit that when I was eighteen in Stavanger, Norway, Lola used to sneak over at night and…

 

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Not your problem

I’m mentally ill. But it’s not your problem. Some of my mental illness is genetic. I have clinical depression on both sides of the family. One relative lived by herself for decades, filling each room of her house with junk until there were piles that reached the ceilings. She used a chamberpot and emptied it…

 

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THIS son of a bitch doesn’t

Sergeant Major Daniel Joseph “Dan” Daly, United States Marine Corps, is said to have shouted, “Come on, you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever?” at his men during the Battle of Bealleau Wood (June 1 to 26, 1918). Well, this son of a bitch doesn’t. I can’t think of anything worse. My…

 

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A glamor grill

In Venezuela Dad had a glamor grill built. Italian craftsmen made it of thick aluminum sheet and put a manufacturer’s plate on it: Piaggio, purveyors of fine scooters. That was their Old World humor at work. Dad agreed with Coco Chanel’s maxim. A grill should be two things: classy and fabulous. Actually, I made that…

 

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The reason my mother died

First, a disclaimer. This post is not an attack on the Catholic church or my maternal grandparents. Nobody intended for my mother to suffer or to be so badly damaged that it killed her eighty years later. There was no malice involved in the decisions made about where Mom would go and how she would…

 

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