Thomas Wictor

This isn’t a real post. I’m filling the empty spot for January 28, 2015, which will keep the Google Web crawlers happy.

Tomorrow I’ll be doing many things I hate.

Getting up at dawn (hate it).

Being driven into Los Angeles (hate it).

Going by freeway (hate it).

In rush hour (hate it).

Being interviewed on camera (hate it).

It’s my dissection of Operation Four Little Martyrs, for Pierre Rehov’s documentary.

I bought a black suit (I hate wearing suits).

And I cut back all my foliage (I hate cutting my hair and trimming my beard and mustache).

I’m finally living the life I want, and I hate having it disrupted. A perfect day for me is feeding and playing with my two cats, talking to Tim, writing a blog post, buying some World War I postcards, taking my meds, watching a movie, and going to sleep.

I want every day to be like that. It’s now extremely difficult to go outside and mingle with my fellow homo sapiens sapiens. They upset my equilibrium because we have nothing in common. When I’m out there, I’m the Cheerful Old Bearded Guy, but in reality I’m counting the seconds until I can get back home.

One of my favorite movies is The Accidental Tourist, starring William Hurt and Geena Davis. William Hurt is an emotionally truncated man who suffered a terrible tragedy, resulting in his wife leaving him. Geena Davis is a local eccentric who sets her sights on Hurt, not knowing that he comes from a family that doesn’t encourage emotional expression.

I understand William Hurt’s character Macon Leary all too well. Things must be exactly the way I’ve learned that I need them to be, or else I can’t function. The difference between him and me is that he still thinks he has a chance at a “normal” life, while I know I don’t.

But that’s fine. Everyone must captain their own ships. When a person comes to a conclusion about themselves, they’re talking about THEMSELVES, no one else.

So let them be, even if you think they’re wasting their lives.

What you consider a wasted life may actually be a spectacular success, given what could’ve been.

I’ll do the interview, and now it looks like I’ll probably have to publicize the Gaza war movie, but I won’t enjoy any of it. All I want is to tend to my two almost-tame cats.

And watch Youtube videos.

Fantasy fills my mind
To leave this place before my time
Release myself from earthly care
My dream may be your nightmare

I turn my hopes up to the sky
I’d like to know before I die
Memories will slowly fade
I lift my eyes and say
Come on take me away
Come on take me away