In July of 2011, my neighbor came close to dying. He’s a morbidly obese man whose wife hasn’t been out of the house in five years. The last time we saw her, she was walking down the sidewalk to the ice-cream truck. Her stomach was like a frozen waterfall, hanging down past her knees. She…
Kabuki for dumbasses
June 21, 2023
The worst part about my first trip to Japan in 1983 was having to sit through kabuki shows. I hated them. Yes, I know, I know: It’s art. You’re free to love kabuki. The fact that I hate it says everything about me and nothing about kabuki. But I absolutely despise it. The music, the…
The music of the spheres
June 20, 2023
There are certain phrases that are so elegant that they sound inevitable. Tim thinks “meandering belligerence” is one. I wish I’d coined it! To me “Pink Panther” is a great example. Also “the music of the spheres.” The phrase “music of the spheres” refers to the intertwined relationship between the structures of music and those…
My meandering belligerence
June 19, 2023
About fifteen years ago, I used to listen to music on the radio. Easily the most annoying song in heavy rotation was “Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen.” I couldn’t escape it. Someone produced a brilliant parody that I can’t find, but it contained the words “my meandering belligerence.” Someone must feel that way about my…
School Marketing Strategies, Mike Albee’s newest scam
June 18, 2023
It’s a red-letter day for shitbag grifters from my past. First Becca Pilkington tried to convince me that she’s just as much a victim of Mike Albee as I am. Now I’ve received a tip that Mike Albee has created a new scam, School Marketing Strategies. Like everything Albee does, it’s phony. The home page…
Sorry, Becca Pilkington. You made your bed.
June 18, 2023
Today I got a funny message. It couldn’t have come at a worse time for the person it was intended to help. I’m in a trough. Oh, I’ll climb out; I always do. But yesterday I realized that the rest of my life is going to be as unpleasant as its been up to now….
Johnny, I hardly knew ye
June 17, 2023
I got a friend request. When I clicked the avatar, Facebook told me that the person doesn’t exist. Johnny, I hardly knew ye. Everything’s off kilter. It’s called a “preference cascade.” The global preference right now is for insanity. That’s fine. I’ll watch from afar, emotionally speaking. Christ, I wish I could watch from afar…
The smug inhumanity of the safe and coddled
June 16, 2023
You probably know that the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL or ISIS) is on the move in Iraq, taking over entire cities without facing any meaningful opposition. ISIL has declared the return of an Islamic Caliphate. In response, I’m hearing a lot of smug inhumanity expressed by the safe and coddled. There…
Unsolicited advice for those in crisis
June 15, 2023
Today I got the message I was expecting. It completed the metamorphosis that began January 16, 2013, the day both my parents were diagnosed with cancer. What I was told today was that my twelve-year friendship with someone was no longer “productive.” It’s not a word I’ve ever applied to friendship, but it turns out…