Thomas Wictor

Move over, Israel! You’ve got competition as a target of cynical, idiotic journalists who have no bloody idea what they’re talking about. This time it’s the Kurds who are being ridiculed by morons. And as we’ve seen from the abysmal reporting coming out of Gaza, the incompetent, catastrophically uninformed clowns who try to present themselves as authoritative voices are in fact so worthless as reporters that they should be run out of the industry.

Two utter blockheads named Mitch Swenson and Dave Axe have written a piece titled “Check Out These Homemade Kurdish Tanks: They’re Terrible.”

Here’s an excerpt.

Historically isolated from arms suppliers and outgunned by Islamic State militants, resourceful Kurdish security forces have built their own makeshift armored vehicles—all in a desperate bid to beef up their own fighting strength.

But guess what. These homemade tanks really suck.

In northern Syria and neighboring regions of Iraq, the Kurdish People’s Protection Unit—or YPG—has modified vans, trucks and construction equipment with guns and shielding.

Which doesn’t mean the improvised tanks can shoot worth a damn … or survive a hit by the militants’ rocket-propelled grenades.

The DIY tanks are worse than useless on the battlefield—they’re a waste of time and effort and are likely to get their crews killed. But they sure do look cool—or hilarious, at least—on Twitter.

Anybody with even the tiniest knowledge of military matters would recognize that these tanks could be very effective. Mitch Swenson should know.

He writes for War is Boring, a Website name that fills me with despair because of its thermonuclear snark and utterly inhumane, hipster-edgy poseurism. I’m appalled that the Internet troll mentality has to be applied to everything now, even wars in which one side commits atrocities on a scale that we haven’t seen since the medieval period. Indescribable suffering is now entertainment.

Swenson and Axe’s article is factually incorrect on every level. First, because they relied on REDDIT, they made an elementary error that shows they did no real research.

No, Mitch, Dave, and Reddit. That’s not the Sturmpanzerwagen Oberschlesien, which you misspelled. This is the Sturmpanzerwagen Oberschlesien.

Your photo is the A7V, initially designated in German as the Sturmpanzerkraftwagen A7V (assault armored vehicle A7V). Later it became the Schwerer Kampfwagen A7V (heavy combat vehicle A7V).

This is a postcard from my collection.

It shows A7V No. 506 at St. Quentin on March 21, 1918, the opening day of the German Spring Offensives meant to end World War One. The handwritten note on the back is from a German tank crewman who said that they had to dismount and serve as infantry shock troops, capturing the British soldiers seen kneeling in the front.

It’s ironic that in their ignorance, Swenson and Axe chose a photo of the A7V. German tank doctrine of World War One called for using the vehicle precisely the way the Kurds do.

From Regulations for the Employment of Assault Armored Vehicle Detachments (1918).

During the attack, the main task of the tanks is to support the advance of the infantry by

a. demolishing enemy obstacles by rolling over them,

b. silencing enemy troops, above all those manning strong points and machine guns,

c. repulsing enemy counterattacks.

Permanent close contact with the infantry is of the highest importance. The tank may be able achieve a break-in, but it is not able to hold the ground… During the advance, the place of the tanks depends on the type of mission. In most cases the tanks will be close behind the first wave of assault troops.

And that’s exactly what the Kurds are doing. Their infantry goes in ahead of the tanks to kill terrorists armed with rocket-propelled grenades (RPGs) and antitank guided missiles (ATGMs). The Kurds who built the tanks are basing their decisions on about a millennium of combat experience, and it’s no secret that they have Israeli advisers.

Only dummies think that the Kurds are so dumb that they use their tanks without infantry support. It took me less than a minute to find a video of Kurdish tanks in action. The video repeats at 5:25, so you don’t have to watch after that.

At 0:25 you see the mounted infantry advancing ahead of the tanks. And guess what? The Kurds took back the village. They defeated the slobbering Orcs of the Islamic State.

Did you note how the tanks hang back? That’s to allow the heavily armed infantry to deal with antitank squads. The Kurds have a huge number of heavy-caliber sniper rifles, which they’re using to protect the tanks. Despite what the press tells you, the Islamic State can’t fight. Kurds and the Iraqi commandos are proving it over and over. All the Islamic State can do is murder defenseless captives, rape, destroy historic cultural monuments, and pray five times a day.

Instead of laughing at the homemade Kurdish tanks, compare the Kurds’ tactics to those of one of the best First World armies, the Danish. Here’s a Danish mechanized infantry attack on a Taliban stronghold.

The Danes know that their vehicles can’t stand up to an RPG or ATGM. Does that mean we should all sneer at the Danes and say their fighting vehicles suck? Or should we learn just the basics of tactics before we open our yaps?

In the two videos, can you see a difference between how the Kurds and Danes approach their targets?

Keep in mind that Kurdish tanks were built by the Yekîneyên Parastina Gel or YPG, the People’s Protection Units. They’re militia. Yet they’re doing well against the Islamic State.

Why am I so angry at Mitch Swenson and Dave Axe? Because the Kurds are very pro-American, yet the Golfer-in-Chief refuses to arm them. So when the Kurds take matters into their own hands, “reporters” with no factual knowledge laugh at them. Here’s what the Kurds are facing. DO NOT CLICK UNLESS YOU HAVE A STRONG STOMACH.

While the Kurds try to fight off demons from hell, Mitch Swenson is back in school. He’s created an online game about the Syrian Civil War called 1,000 Days of Syria, which is “part electric literature; part newscast; and part choose-your-own-adventure.”

War is boring, but it’s also an adventure!

On behalf of my vacuous culture, I apologize to the YPG for Mitch Swenson, Dave Axe, Reddit, and Barack Obama. We’re not all complete imbeciles here. It only seems that way at times.