Thomas Wictor

A face I’ll never forget

A face I’ll never forget

This is a face I’ll never forget.


At the same time, I wish I’d never seen it. Yet I look at this photo every day. It reminds me that I’m not the center of the universe.

As Jew-hating Twitter users never tire of pointing out to me, I suffer from depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder with secondary psychotic features (PTSD-SP). I take medication for these afflictions, but as any psychiatrist will tell you, there’s only so much that can be done when the damage is as great as it is in my case.

During college I began trying to find out what was wrong with me. I read everything I could about mental-health issues and PTSD. There was something buried deep inside that I couldn’t access. To try and cope, I spent the years 1979 to 1991 drunk and high on pot or hashish, with cocaine and methamphetamine thrown in.


I stopped drinking and drugging in 1991 because it wasn’t doing anything. Before, the booze and pot or coke or meth would make me feel great, but by 1991 I’d just be drunk and miserable or high and miserable.

In 2007 my resting pulse rate suddenly went up to 220 beats per minute. I’d had episodes of irregular heartbeat and tachycardia all my life, but this was incredible. My heart beat this fast all the time.

And it beat really hard. I could feel my pulse in my neck, my ankles, and my fingertips. Sleep was impossible. After a week I went to a cardiologist, and he put me through every single test available. He even had me checked for a pulmonary embolism. I had to get inside a CT scanner with my arms over my head.


Once inside, they injected me with a dye.

“It’s going make you feel really hot,” the technician said. “I have to tell you that because some people get scared. Some people like it, though.”

“What kind of people like being injected with dye that makes them feel really hot?” I asked.

“Girls,” he said. He leaned in close and whispered. “Black girls.”

He was Asian, just a kid. I was nearly hysterical from a week of my heart slamming my whole body like a sledgehammer, so I pretty much lost it and laughed until I was crying. The lascivious way he’d said buh-llllllllack—his mouth so close that it seemed that he was going to kiss me—was too much.

My cardiologist said there was nothing physically wrong with me, so he recommended psychotropic medication. I’ve been on it ever since.

But it can only help, not cure. When my parents died and two grifters posing as book publicists robbed me of my life’s savings, I went into a fog of dissociation. That’s how my PTSD manifests itself. I lose track of time and can’t get anything done.

Well, on June 3, 2015, I remembered that which I’d blocked out my entire life. And without knowing it, I entered a state of dissociation. I can function on a macro scale, but I forget to pay bills or leave feedback for sellers on eBay. For two weeks I’ve been letting things slide.

I can’t recall finding the photo of the Palestinian baby wearing his al-Quds Brigades headband; it was sometime in the past two weeks. Though his expression fills me with almost suicidal rage and sorrow, I look at that little face every day. It reminds me that while it’s too late for me, there are others in need.

Did you ever see Johnny Cash’s version of the Nine Inch Nails song “Hurt”? It’s one of the most magnificent pieces of art ever produced.

A truly stunning work, it doesn’t actually describe me or my worldview. I never needed to see if I still feel; the problem is that I can’t stop feeling.

But that can be put to use. If you feel strongly enough about something, you try to make a change. My brother Tim hates social media and isn’t a part of it because he believes that people use it as a substitute for actually doing something. I agree. The hideous freaks who contact me are under the delusion that they’re making a difference by tweeting.

“Tweet!” I tell them. “Tweet mightily for social justice!”

You know what’s going to save the Palestinian baby wearing the al-Quds Brigades headband?

A storm of 5.56mm bullets. Or barrages of 155mm artillery shells. Or 2000-lb bombs. The monster holding the baby must be killed. That will save the baby.

I read an article today that fills me with joy.

An Overstretched Hezbollah Facing an Israeli Preemptive Strike?

Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah says his group is currently involved in an “existential battle” against insurgents inside Syria. While reports maintain that Hezbollah is currently winning the decisive battle in Qalamoun, on the Lebanese eastern border, analysts believe they are showing signs of being stretched thin. This situation can only worsen, as the group plans to expand and intensify its operations deep inside Syria, from the Lebanon-Syria border as far as Aleppo.

Against this backdrop, there are several indications that Israel may take the opportunity to conduct a preemptive surprise attack on an overstretched Hezbollah in the Syrian war, hoping to destroy its military capability.

The writer is Shahir ShahidSaless, “an Iranian-Canadian political analyst.” That’s why he included this howler in his piece.

In the last three weeks, Hezbollah has captured 40 percent of the 780 square kilometers of Qalamoun land that was previously controlled by extremists.

Because Hezbollah are not extremists.


ShahidSaless (yes, he capitalizes the “S” in the middle of his last name) buries the lede because he’s a tribal numbskull who refuses to accept that the IDF is indeed the most moral military force on earth.

IDF source: We’d evacuate a million Lebanese if war breaks out with Hezbollah

In the event of a new conflict with Hezbollah, the IDF would seek to evacuate more than a million civilians in south Lebanon within 24 hours before proceeding to strike thousands of Hezbollah targets in some 240 villages and built-up regions, a senior military source said on Wednesday.

Large-scale Hezbollah rocket and missile fire would be met with civilian evacuations, massive Israeli aerial strikes, followed by a ground offensive, he said…

“If we have no choice, we have to evacuate 1 million, 1.5 million residents in Lebanon, and act,” the source said. “Hezbollah should not plan to fire on us and try to kill our civilians, and expect that we would respond by acting according to standards it seems to think only exist here.”

Hezbollah is “in distress” in Syria and is in strategic trouble despite attempts by its leader Hassan Nasrallah to deliver morale-boosting speeches recently, the source continued.

An initial Hezbollah offensive in the Qalamoun-Arsal regions of western Syria has stalled, and it is trying to hide its losses and boost the confidence of Lebanese Shi’ites with a media blitz.

In recent days, the IAF held a series of drills, the aim of which was to improve its ability to fire large numbers of precision-guided munitions at targets hidden in built up areas in a short period of time. The exercise also tested the IAF’s ability to maintain operations despite its bases being targeted by guided Hezbollah missile attacks.

That’s it. The endgame is within sight. We’re going to see the humiliating, utter defeat of Hezbollah, which will change the regional balance of power. Iran will be next, if it continues on its present course. Finally, the Islamic State will be destroyed. The only way we can save the babies is by smashing the life out of their demonic abusers.

My guess is that it’s going to happen fairly soon. Idiots will screech, liars will lie, weak sisters will blubber, and I won’t care in the least.

Who must do the hard things? He who can.